Dog's rules for Christmas

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by PeterBale, Dec 7, 2005.

  1. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Received this via email from Australia:
    1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear
    to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting
    dog cuddles.

    2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not
    assume that all the gifts are yours.

    3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some
    special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

    4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent
    place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to
    you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you
    need to know: Don't pee on the tree... Don't drink water in the container
    that holds the tree... Mind your tail when you are near the tree... If there
    are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have
    your name on them, don't rip them open... And don't chew on the cord that
    runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree.

    5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit
    during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for
    some discretion on your part: Not all strangers appreciate kisses and
    cleans. Don't eat off the buffet table. Beg for goodies subtly. Be pleasant,
    even if unknowing strangers sit on your spot on the sofa -- they don't know
    any better. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach
    unless you can get away with it...

    6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also
    be important: Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other
    people's houses. (4a is particularly important) Respect the territory of
    other animals that may live in the house. Be nice to the kiddies. Turn on
    your charm big time.

    7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your
    fireplace in the middle of the night. DO NOT BITE HIM!!!

    ;) ;) ;)

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