Dear Technical Support

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Kernewek Den, Nov 11, 2003.

  1. Kernewek Den

    Kernewek Den Member

    18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which
    I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently
    conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and
    run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

    To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other
    applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 3pm, and Playboy 6.9.
    Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no b! etter. A shareware program,
    Party Girl 2.1, which I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system,
    forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

    Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same
    time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other,
    they caused severe damage to my hardware. I then upgraded to Fiancée 1.0,
    only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife
    1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does
    come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2002. Shortly after this
    upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to

    Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and
    could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had
    forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and
    E-mail Filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Whinge.
    These latter prod! ucts have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what
    the problem is.

    Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring
    ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to
    be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child
    processes that drain my resources. These conflict with some of the new
    games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation.
    Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often

    Wife 1.0 also comes with a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-In-Law,
    which can't be turned off, stopped or reasoned with. Recently I've been
    tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems. A friend of
    mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003, it
    tends to delete all of your Money files before uninstalling itself.

    Please Help :lol:
  2. Big Twigge

    Big Twigge Active Member

  3. sugarandspice

    sugarandspice Active Member

    maybe the problem lies with the user and not wife 1.0?
  4. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Sounds as though you may have performed an illegal operation and need to be shut down - or perhaps it was a run-time error - not fast enough :wink: :lol: :lol:
  5. neiltwist

    neiltwist Active Member

    insufficient dos memory?
  6. tubbythetuba

    tubbythetuba New Member

    Try divorce 4.1 which will unfortunately require overdraft 2.1 or possibly remortgage 5.

    You could them move to Girlfriend 2.1 through to 2.15, or simply use bonkfest 4.

    Please try to avoid Wife 2.0 seems a good idea and at first runs more efficiently than Wife 1.0, however has a tendency to invoke Jealousy 4.1 which can cause severe operating errors.

    Good luck
  7. Kernewek Den

    Kernewek Den Member

    I actually have wife 10 out of 10 installed and children 1.0 and 2.0 so far but working on the rest!
  8. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    A few years ago, most people ran 2.4 children, but things may have changed a bit since then!
  9. James McFadyen

    James McFadyen New Member

    Software overload!!! Time to fdisk and reformat and install Linux, I'm sure those software titles arn't available for Linux, but a something tells me that a few budding programmers on this post will bring out a Linux version.

  10. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Lol! :lol:
  11. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Not computers, but technical in its own way, and saves opening up another thread :lol:

    Spotted in today's newspaper:

    . . . and who said women were no good with D.I.Y. :?: :wink: :lol:
  12. Moy

    Moy Active Member

    A single application is preferable :wink:
  13. MartinT

    MartinT Member

    As regards the virus infection, I suggest installation of appropriate patches and a firewall prior to launching PartyGirl 2.1. You should be aware that no guarantees can be made as to the behaviour of shareware and freeware.

  14. floral_dance

    floral_dance Member

    try 2.4 children but don't forget the dog!!!!!!!!!
  15. bagpuss

    bagpuss Active Member

    With regard to the bugs inherent in Party girl 2.1, it is possible to get penicillin 4 (times per day) from certain sources. You may also find that if party girl 2.1 or even girlfriend 1.0/1.2 become too much of a problem, introducing desparate mate 3.1 could solve the problem by removing party girl 2.1 and girlfriend 1.0/1.2 from your system completely.

    With regard to your problem with wife 1.0 storing errors in its memory, I have always found that liberal applications of vodka 50 (ml) can cause this memory to be difficult to access and easily corrupted.

    The Audi TT hard drive crashes are a difficult problem to solve. The only way that I know to get around this is to remove Audi TT hard drive and replace with a much lesser model (mini metro for example) until such time as wife 1.0 has successfully completed it's learn to BLEEP drive 2.1 upgrade. It is then advisable to slowly increase hard drive potential (VWpolo then Ford Focus etc.etc) until an acceptable hard drive level is reached. One unfortunate side effect of this is that if you try to ascertain the reason for these Audi TT hard drive crashes, FreeSex plus will probably be removed without warning and for an indeterminate length of time. Only after Red roses 12 and/or chocolate 5.3 can this hope to be retrieved.

    One final word of warning. NEVER attempt to introduce Threesome deluxe to your system. This invariably results in Slap v3 being launched and can result in damaged hardware. Also FreeSex plus may be deleted from your system completely and TurboStrop/Whinge will replace your normal operating system.

    Hope this helps

  16. Seedhouse

    Seedhouse Active Member

    Lol! :lol: Good one Bagpuss!

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