dealing with annoying evangelists

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by brasscrest, Nov 3, 2004.

  1. brasscrest

    brasscrest Active Member

  2. jpbray

    jpbray Member

    He was probably told, that their names was Stevens ;) ;)
  3. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    My friend Ian came up with the most surreal JW put down:

    Having just woken up when they knocked on his door, and unable to think of anything coherent to say when they asked him if he was interested in having a chat with the, he replied "No thanks, I'm a theoretical physicist".
    Exit stage left 2 very confused JWs...
  4. Naomi McFadyen

    Naomi McFadyen New Member

    :-? Now that's just..... crazy! :-?

    .....But ermmmm, it's great when we get them knocking at our door at home...
    Mum answers and says... "well, actually, my husband is a minister...."

    ... they quickly go.... and she isn't kidding either :lol:
  5. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    I manage to put them off by confessing that "I'm a Gay Satanist and I'm looking for victims to perform a ritual sacrifice. Would you like to become a martyr?"

    I really wouldn't want to go around biting such people on the thigh. You can never tell if they've washed recently. Some of them are struggling with the concepts of Round Earth and the wheel, let alone washing or personal hygiene.
  6. Red Elvis

    Red Elvis Active Member

    When I lived back in Colchester I had a large Confederate battle flag which I used as a draft exclucing curtain over the front door.Soon discovered that it did a treat for scaring off Mormon missionaries!!
  7. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    Sometimes (and I do this with panhandlers as well), I'll just speak in the shotty German or Spanish I learned in school and they usually give up and walk away.
  8. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    I've only ever had them knock on the door once, and all I managed to say was

    "ah come on, it's sunday morning... I was drinking till 3am and I can barely understand the toaster never mind philosophy..."

    They just looked slightly disappointed and left...
  9. six pints

    six pints Active Member

    we'v never had any at our door, maybe the realise that ashingtoners arent interested!
  10. Crazysop

    Crazysop Member

    Has anyone noticed how good looking some of these door to door missionaries are? Damn fine!!! perhaps they are trying new tactics to convert you.
  11. Pondasher

    Pondasher Member

    A pal of mine hates being disturbed by 'bible punchers', and by people stopping him in the street for market research purposes.

    As he speaks fluent French and German he merely tells them that he does not understand English, and cannot understand what they are saying. It works every time, as they just run out of words and clear off.

    It is brilliant to see him in action. He uses this technique on the telephone as well.
  12. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    I know of one person who invited them into the (sparsely furnished student flat) living room, went out on the pretence of making a cup of tea and slipped out of the back door leaving them sitting there..........
  13. ian perks

    ian perks Active Member

    In use a very simple reply of "GO AWAY"But you know what i mean:)
  14. bigmamabadger

    bigmamabadger Active Member

    Our Dad's a minister too, and loves to torment JWs. Once they came to the door in sub-zero temperatures. He kept them talking on the doorstep until they started to shiver. Then he said, "Yes, it's rather cold isn't it?" went inside and put on several jumpers and came back out again, saying, "Now, where were we?" They staggered off shortly after and haven't been back since.
    His other trick is when they come asking to talk about the bible he asks what language would they like to do it in, Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic, Latin.... gets 'em every time.
  15. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    Left them alone in his house? I wouldn't trust them long enough to make a cup of tea!
  16. Red Elvis

    Red Elvis Active Member

    Slight twist on this theme , but when my local is packed of a Friday night with ponsy media types , I find the best way to get a table for the lads is to sit next to a bunch of them and then loudly ask if anyone would be interested in knowing of the love of our Lord - they all sod off pretty quick and we get a seat - works a treat every time !!!!

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