Daft Definitions

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by manx_yessir, Apr 9, 2004.

  1. manx_yessir

    manx_yessir Member

    Messages:
    554
    Location:
    Abu Dhabi
    Avoidable - What a bullfighter tries to do.

    Burglarize - What a crook sees with.

    Counterfeiter - Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.

    Eclipse - What a barber does for a living.

    Eyedropper - A clumsy optician.

    Heroes - What a guy in a boat does.

    Left Bank - What the robber did after his bag was full of loot.

    Misty - How golfers create divots.

    Paradox - Two physicians.

    Pharmacist - A helper on the farm.

    Polarize - What penguins see with.

    Relief - What trees do in the spring.

    Rubberneck - What you do to relax your wife.
     
  2. HBB

    HBB Active Member

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    Location:
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    lol! :D
     
  3. TheMusicMan

    TheMusicMan tMP Founder Staff Member

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    14,640
    Sheesh manx.. what you on tonight eh! :lol:

    Good though - keep 'em coming...
     
  4. manx_yessir

    manx_yessir Member

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    554
    Location:
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    It's Friday night and I have nothing better to do than scour t'internet for poinless info....sad eh! :roll: :lol:
     
  5. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

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    keeps us happy! good one! :lol:
     
  6. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

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    5,372
    Location:
    Isle of Arran and lovin' it!
    Good ones!

    Rather like those definitions allegedly submitted to the Washington Post

    Coffee - A person who is coughed upon

    Willy-nilly - Impotent

    Others to consider?

    Whisky - What a drunk says when he/she can't find the tools required to open the front door.

    Zidane - commonly thought to be an excellent French footballer, but in fact, a familiar directive at London football grounds when a fan or fans stand up from their seats during an exciting passage of play.

    Rectum - What the Titanic did to its passengers.

    Farted - Edward when he goes abroad.

    Ejaculate - An expression mostly heard in the North of England when anyone by the name of Jack is seen by others to be of a tardy disposition.

    Nightingale - A windy evening.

    Buttercup - The art of raising one's backside.

    Dublin - Anything multiplied by 2

    Scone - An expression heard when something's disappeared without explanation.

    French Horn - Marianne Faithfull

    Manx - Mancunians

    Brief Encounter - A gathering of Y-fronts

    Badminton - An out of date packet of Polos
     
  7. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Messages:
    5,372
    Location:
    Isle of Arran and lovin' it!
    More....,

    Delight - To turn off a lamp.

    Natural - An ancient trumpet specialist, given to playing behing the beat.

    Glockenspiel - A lecture on tuned percussion.

    Bernadette - To throw a domestic bill into the fire.
     
  8. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Messages:
    5,372
    Location:
    Isle of Arran and lovin' it!
    Damn you, yessir! I've got the bug now! ;-)


    Tuberculosis - The nearest bass brass instrument to hand.

    Mucal - A cat's meow.

    Mucus - An irritated cat's meow.

    Viking - A transsexual Scandinavian ruler.

    Public - What a desperate drinker does to the bar when his/her local has run out of beer.

    Wassail - What lager drinkers frequently ask.

    Sperm - French Spam.

    Ex Lax - The reason a woman dumped her boyfriend.

    Protein - A young prostitute
     
  9. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Messages:
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    Location:
    Isle of Arran and lovin' it!
    OK, last lot! (amid cries of 'Thank God for that!')

    Wilful - Bill's eaten too much again....

    Registered - What Reginald produces in the lavatory.

    Microbes - Michael gets dressed.

    Intermezzo - To bury a soprano.

    President - To damage a gift

    Brasserie - What www.themouthpiece.com might be described as.

    I give up! :oops: :lol:
     
  10. Frenchie

    Frenchie New Member

    Messages:
    18
    Location:
    Isle of Arran, Scotland
    Yes, folks, you're right ...

    Yes folks, you're right, I can officially confirm that Dave Payn has finally lost it altogether! I'll have him sectioned on Monday (any suggestions for which section?!?).
    I also note that there have been 25757 posts since I last logged on a couple of weeks ago, so he's not the only one with nothing better to do, obviously!
    :roll: Frenchie
     
  11. manx_yessir

    manx_yessir Member

    Messages:
    554
    Location:
    Abu Dhabi
    [quote="Dave Payn"
    Manx - Mancunians [/quote]


    Oh Dave oh Dave oh Dave :roll: I'm going to have to correct you! A Manx person is someone from the Isle Of Man!

    Mancs are Mancunians! Being a Liverpool fan, I don't think you could have wrote any an bigger insult! :evil:

    Still, I forgive you :wink: :lol: (Well i will when I get a public apology :wink: )
     
  12. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Messages:
    5,372
    Location:
    Isle of Arran and lovin' it!
    Yes, manx yessir! I know where the Manx really are! The whole point of this thread is surely that they're all a play on words, which 'manx' was intended to be! In any case, Frenchie's right! Wibble!

    Nevertheless, apologies for any offence! ;-)
     
  13. manx_yessir

    manx_yessir Member

    Messages:
    554
    Location:
    Abu Dhabi
    Ok Dave I forgive you. :wink: :lol:

    And Wibble to you too! :lol:
     
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