Come the Revolution......

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Will the Sec, Sep 30, 2005.

  1. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    Bb Bass players will get the tune in every piece of music!

    Soprano Cornet players won't sit nearest to the bar!

    Trombone players will play quietly when the music says so!

    Cornet players won't have egos!

    Flugel players will join in with the horns as a section!

    The horn will not be seen as "the girl's instrument"!

    Baritone players will play small bore instruments that are not 4 valved mini euphoniums!

    Euphonium players will not whinge if there is not a 64 bar solo for them in every test piece!

    Eb Bass players will get as many solos as Euphoniums!

    Percussion players will play side drums and woodblocks in tune!

    Conductors will not beat left handed and backwards!

  2. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    Ok, you've had your starter for 10 in Andy Wooler's thread about Wolfie at Brighton...

    Please state your fantasy "Come the Revolution" below...

    Come the Revolution.....
  3. yorkie19

    yorkie19 Active Member

    we'll have a Socialist Republic
  4. Rapier

    Rapier Supporting Member

    Trombones play quietly when the music say so?? Not in our lifetime. Revolution or not. :D
  5. andywooler

    andywooler Supporting Member

    Come the revolution:

    There will be NO British troops in Iran, Iraq or anywhere else beggining with an I!

    The teaching of Brass band instruments in addition to Orchestral brass will be compulsory for all peri teachers.

    Reality TV shows will be banned

    Ian Huntley will still be in Jail

    Party Conferences will be held in the Outer Hebrides.

    Britain will be out of the EU

    bit more importantly, West Ham will be winning the Champions league - again.
  6. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    Cue anarchy in Ispwich!
  7. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    Would that include

    Ireland (Northern Provinces of...)
  8. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    Bass players will be ON the beat (not behind or rushing ahead!)

    Band politics will be a thing of the past

    EVERYONE will turn up for rehearsal! (Ok I know now I'm being stupid!).
    EVERYONE will help set up, put away and lug stuff around rather than standing around gossiping/winging/stirring or vanishing off to the bar or just ******ing off home without say goodbye!. :rolleyes:

  9. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    All in jest, folks! :)
  10. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    I agree with everything that you have stated with the exception of, I and my brother tubists all play on the beat, it is the rest of the band and concuctor who are wrong.

    "Come the revolution", adjudicators will be held accountable for any discrepancies that have been found by an independent panel, auditing their work. I offer my services for the auditing and the retribution to follow :cool:
  11. WhatSharp?

    WhatSharp? Active Member

    Oh and ...

    Adjudicators will deliver their post contest speeches whilst in the stocks in front of bandsmen (and bandswomen) armed with rotten fruit! :D
  12. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    You forgot to mention "in time" - or was that too vague a concept? ;)

    Ah! You have met James Parkinson then!

    Dave Payn will be living in Aran.

    England will be spelt with an I, then?
  13. Chunky

    Chunky Active Member

    Yes please, they deserve it........

    Come the revolution arrangers will realise that BBb bass players are just as capable of playing interesting bass lines as they give the Eb basses at times!
  14. Dave Payn

    Dave Payn Active Member

    Welcome to the echo chamber.

  15. FlugelD

    FlugelD Member

    (I've been to the pub, you know...:wink: )

    Come the revolution:-

    Soprano players will stop screaming, and may become tuneful. Then they'll raise instruments to gobs...

    Principal cornets will undergo an operation to halve their egos, and will then only be twice as big-headed as everyone else. The rest of the front row will have automated ass-kickers fitted, saving the conductor a lot of effort.

    Rep will understand, finally, that they're a second-rate flugel player, and will stop bitching about flugel solos.

    2nd and 3rd cornets will balance to the front row, in tune, and in tempo. Maybe.

    Flugel parts will have a sensible balance between solos, tutti parts, and rests, and no more 64 bar tutti sectioni (where you can't hear the others, so are forced to play) followed by 32 bar solos, followed by 4 bars rest and another tutti section....

    Horns will play together, tunefully and majestically. Like in an orchestra, but tunefully...

    Euphs will stop bitching/arguing, and play. At least sometimes.

    Trombones will learn their place, and rehearse next door. The balance of the band will improve...

    Basses will learn a new word.

    Drummers will learn a word.

    Tuned percussionists will tune to the band ( :idea: )

    And Air Traffic Control will introduce a new section... :pig

    Either :-

    ... thus doubling their income.


    ...Gruinard? :clap:

    Hang on - what parties? Come the revolution, there'll only be one - mine! ;)
  16. FlugelD

    FlugelD Member

    Baritones will still be ignored, unfortunately.
  17. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    The 2nd baritone will no longer be the buttof all jokes!!
  18. Pythagoras

    Pythagoras Active Member

    There will be no all one sex bands.

    There will be no appeals! If the points system says you should go down you should go down.

    Baernarts will be no more.

    Conductors will stop criticising the basses for not playing stacatto.

    Horns/Euphs/Baris will realise that it is very difficult for the basses to hear the conductor if they are talking all the time.
  19. trumpetmike

    trumpetmike Well-Known Member

    Bands will be more interested in making fantastic music than worrying about what a man in a box thinks.

    Nobody will ever argue about results once they have happened - if someone says you didn't play well, perhaps he might know more about it than you think.

    Politics will never appear in the bandroom.

    The assumption that Besson is Best will be left in the mid '70s.

    If you turn up to a bandroom with a make of instrument that nobody knows, you won't immediately get stick for it.

    Composers will start writing great original music for band, not writing fairly predictable test pieces.

    Arrangers will do something creative, rather than hash out the latest pop hit in a tired and predictable format.

    As for trombones playing the dynamics - it will never happen.
  20. Darth_Tuba

    Darth_Tuba Active Member

    Trumpeters who seem to have issues with brass bands will stop punishing themselves by spending too much time on brass band orientated message boards.