Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by brassneck, Jan 5, 2007.
Start of a new year and our first caption competition of 2007 ... here goes!
Hell's trombone's recruitmant drive at Dobcross moves on at a frantic pace.
"I thought you said the show needed some sax appeal!"
Hello, hello! is that the adjudicator - we've just come out of registration and will be the next band on stage. The cheque will be paid into your Swiss bank account as agreed.
"Hello? Oh, hi Boss. What's that? The stage needs sweeping.... Okaaay, but I'm a bit busy just at the moment. Hang on, you want me to stick the mop WHERE?"
A new experimental rule change is tried out at a wind band contest; anyone whose mobile rings while on stage gets the dreaded "mop wedgie"
"Sorry, you have a wrong number: this is Pennsylvania 65001"
"No, we may look like bell boys but we really are a band!"
Butlins Redcoats line up to act as last-minute signings
"I'm sorry, Mr Lewis, but you cannot blame your latest contest flop on the bell-boy!"
Band Secretary registers complaint at being disqualified as Windband gatecrash Whit Friday March circuit.
"And it's going to take the conductor HOW LONG to get here?!"
So thats on 12" Margherita, a 16" Spicy Hot One, two portions of Garlic Bread, Spicy Crunch Chicken Wings and 2 litres of Pepsi please.....
The Salvation Army Swing Band recieve details of their next gig from head office..
"I'm sorry, we don't do that sort of drum and bass music requests!"
What? The Basses are in the pub again? It's the mop for them this time!
"I've got to go now, dear, Crispin's chewing my leg again..."
"Yes, we've got lots of sax appeal. No, the advert asked for a band with sax appeal!"
"Give us the gig, we'll really clean up."
Darling, I've told you not to phone me when I'm working.
"i forgot to set corrie to record!!!"
"Yes mother, Professor King really enjoyed working on his new project with us"....................................................................................
"No mother, he hasn't got another new hair do, it's just a mop we use as a prop!"
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