1 My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the hell she is. 2 The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 3 I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 4 I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. 5 I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. 6 I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 7 I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 8 The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. 9 If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. 10 I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.