Best "Out of Office" e-mail replies

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Aardvark, Aug 21, 2007.

  1. Aardvark

    Aardvark Member

    How I wish I could use some of these.....(except maybe the last one !!)

    1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

    2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

    3. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send Me until I return from holiday. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

    4. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged £5.99 for the first 10 words and £1.99 for each additional word in your message.

    5. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
    (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)

    6. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

    7. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

    8. I've run away to join a different circus.

    9. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Paul'
  2. Robhibberd29

    Robhibberd29 Active Member

    I hope you don't mind me copying these, some excellent ones there!
    Just need to enable my out of office agent and I'm laughing.......
  3. Bungle

    Bungle Member

    These turned up in an article on the BBC Website and people have added to them. I like the following

    Your e-mail is important to me - please play the Branderburg Concerto until I get back to you.

    But as people have commented 'Out Of Office' emails confirms a valid email address to Spammers.
  4. Aardvark

    Aardvark Member

    True, however the company I work for has put a filter on out of office messages, where they are not sent back in certain cases. It's quite clever because it doesn't block all external e mails - if I send a message to work from my home e mail account I get my out of office reply, but when I return to work I get lots of messages telling me that the out of office message has not been sent to certain e mail addresses and they are the spam/valid marketing ones.

    Mind you I still get loads of spam at work as this has only been in place for the last 6 months :frown:
  5. Laserbeam bass

    Laserbeam bass Active Member

    My finest ever out of office reply was
    " I am no longer gainfully employed by this company, If I want you to contact me you will already have my personal e-mail address and mobile phone number"

    Then again I had just been made redundant. I believe it upset a few people who thought they were my friends and not just colleagues ;)
  6. bassinthebathroom

    bassinthebathroom Active Member

    My out-of-office for the job I left on Thursday was "I no longer work here, and as such I am not interested in the slightest in whatever you have sent me. Please contact <name of manager you dislike the most> on <their phone number> who will able to deal with all enquiries, no matter how frivalous they (usually) are."
  7. TheMusicMan

    TheMusicMan tMP Founder Staff Member

    Burning bridges there Iain... though quite funny, you never know when this might turn around and bite you on the bum!
  8. bassinthebathroom

    bassinthebathroom Active Member

    In fairness I was never really that interested when I was there... I had one of those jobs where someone accidentally gets through to you on the phone, you solve their normally blindingly obvious query, and then, as they now have your direct dial number, they continue to phone you every 30 minutes with their piddling problems!
    This particular company has such a high turnover of staff though, that I doubt the powers that be have even realised I've gone!

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