Beer Theories

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by DublinBass, Apr 20, 2005.

  1. DublinBass

    DublinBass Supporting Member

    I don't think this one has made it around yet...
    (and even if it has...humour me and pretend like it hasn't)

    Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
    -- Babe Ruth

    An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
    -- Ernest Hemingway

    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
    -- Paul Hornung

    24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
    -- H.L. Mencken


    When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
    -- George Bernard Shaw

    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
    -- Benjamin Franklin

    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
    -- Dave Barry

    Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.
    -- W.C. Fields

    Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
    -- Professor Irwin Corey

    To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!
    -- Leo Durocher

    One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm
    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And, when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first.
    "This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.
    "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first."
    "In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine."
    "That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
     
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  3. Chunky

    Chunky Active Member

    Beer tastes mighty fine tonight:- Nigel Worthington, Norwich City Manager- Players Lounge Carrow Road, 20th April 2005
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2005
  4. Will the Sec

    Will the Sec Active Member

    Overheard in a pub in Bishop's Stortford - Essex/Herts borders.

    Man and his wife having a row.

    "What's the difference between being married to you for the rest of my life, and drinking a pint of bitter?"

    "Errr....."

    "I like the thought of drinking a pint of bitter!"

    Cue a glass of rum and coke being emptied onto the top of his head.

    They're still married!
     
  5. Cornishwomble

    Cornishwomble Active Member

    That's quite deep!

    When I'm having a beer I'm usually thinking about what naan bread I'm going to have with my Vindaloo later!
     
  6. lewis

    lewis Member

    The fact that the best cure for a hangover is a few beers says alot as well. Not only does it taste nice but it has medicine qualities as well:clap::clap::clap:
     

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