Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by savewaterdrinkbeer, Nov 10, 2004.
do you think courting people in the same band as you is a good idea?!
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I don't think there is a big problem with couples being in a band together. In fact, sometimes individuals may be more dedicated to the band than they normal would if they have a partner in the band (ie less likely to cry off)
However, I don't think its particularly a good idea only from one point of view and that is the break up.
So as long as the couple never breaks up (or doesn't intend to have just a fling) go for it.
I have to agree. Although though it has been known for couples to part on good terms and still play in the same band. very rare I know but it has happened.
its been known that bad breakups can effect people in the band if there friends get involved, i dont think its a problem, Just got to remember its your buiness and nothing to do with anyone else in the band and dont let anyone effect it if you like each other so much!
Usually is not a problem, but can be detrimental particularly if there is the perception that undue influence is exerted (someone dating the MD or a committee member might be seen as having influence over decisions).
A breakup may mean that someone leaves the band.
If one partner leaves for some reason you'll likely lose the other as well.
How you going to avoid them?
Constitution item "Band members can not have relationships with other band members" ?
The friends problem wherever.
And it can work - one of my old bands - most of the couples who were there when I joined 16 years ago are still there - just that they are all with different partners within the band hehe
My partner is our Solo Horn player and Librarian and she hates the fact that I'm band sergeant cos I don't let her get away with anything, let alone skiving!! :-D
There wouldn't be a problem when...oops, IF we split up...she'd leave!! (Joke Deb!! JOKE!!!) sheesh!! :roll:
i think it's annoying when couples flirt across the band with each other
Yeah it is! And I don't think it's just cos I'm single and bitter at present but it's the most off-putting thing ever. Especially when it's principal cornet.
I think it's sweet.
There was this one incident of a band i used to play with where a woman was wife to the sop player and then she managed to sleep with the cinductor an someone else in the band. That really is a bad example of love across the band. Needless to say they split up and as a result so did the band which is a shame really.
Until they broke up and they started seeing another player. If banding is what you love and the band room becomes a place where you're in close contact with your ex and the conductor you left them for, it starts to ruin your past time surely. I think it's definitely a bad idea, but not necessarily avoidable.
I don't think there is a problem with it, although I think people should perhaps step carefully.
I'd prefer to have a relationship outside of the band... that way you have someone to moan and bitch about people behind their backs to...
its ok as long as theyre both single....
I don't think relationships within bands are good, because of break ups and arguements and stuff can make things really awkward. And it's better if your dating someone from another band, more competitive!
I used to go out with, at the time top man cornet in my first band... when we spilt up it was very awkward... cos it happened just before a gig and he went home early in tears! :lol: Oooppps!... ;-) but he got over it and we stayed friends... actually going back out with each other at a later date... which ended.... and then a 3rd time...... haha.... he finished it the third time... but by then I was in a different band! :lol:
but ermm, yea.... I'm all for same band dating.... nowt wrong with it... just can be hard when the 2 people break up, that's all...
I must admit that it's hard to find someone who understands commitment and dedication to brass bands or just music in general, so findin someone who's involved in the same thing as u is very helpful for a healthy and succesful relationship.....but as stated above there is always a chance of a"break-up" which causes members to leave...so be careful, i know it's hard when ur attracted to someone..but just be very careful!!!!! I sound so serious, i need to lighten up..go crazy or something
That's true, my boyfriend doesn't understand bands at all!! Saying that, he does understand how important banding is to me. Dating someone at band, is similar to dating someone at work - it could have it's consequences!
I dont see there being a problem as in our band we have alot of families. We have a few couples who both play and then their kids do as well. And 2 of these couples met at band and are happily married.
And just to add to another couple i am engaged to Solo Eb Player!!
Overall i dont c the problem as long as they dont bring personal lives to band its ok!!!
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