Bad jokes

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Gladiator, Apr 1, 2007.

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  1. Gladiator

    Gladiator New Member

    It's 1st April and I was expecting a few jokes but nothing has happened (or maybe it has but I still don't know...)
    So I decided to share this with you...:sup

    Bass jokes

    Q: Why did the bass player get mad at the timpanist?
    A: He turned a peg and wouldn't tell the bass player which one.

    Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Only one - but the guitarist has to show him first.

    Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Six. One to change it, five to fight off the lead guitarists who are hogging the light.

    Q: Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
    A: It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

    Q: How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: None. The piano player can do that with his left hand.
    The annoying drums

    This guy goes on vacation to a tropical island. As soon as he gets off the plane, he hears drums. He thinks "Wow, this is cool." He goes to the beach, he hears the drums, he eats lunch, he hears drums, he goes to a luau, he hears drums. He tries to go to sleep, yet he hears drums.

    This goes on for several nights, and gets to the point where the guy can't sleep at night because of the drums. Finally, he goes down to the front desk.

    When he gets there, he asks the manager, "Hey! What's with these drums. Don't they ever stop? I can't get any sleep."

    The manager says, "No! Drums must never stop. It's very bad if drums stop."

    "Why?"

    "When drums stop...bass solo begins."
     
  2. Gladiator

    Gladiator New Member

    [FONT=times new roman,helvetica][​IMG] Drum jokes

    Q: Why do drummers have a half ounce more brains than horses?
    A: So they don't disgrace themselves at the parade.

    Q: How do you know if there is a percussionist at the door?
    A: The knocking gets slower.

    Q: How can you tell when there is a drummer at your front door?
    A: The knocking gets faster.

    Q: How do you know when a drum solo's really bad?
    A: The bass player notices.

    Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Only one, but he'll break ten bulbs before figuring out that they can't just be pushed in.

    Q: What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
    A: A drummer.

    Q: What do you call a drummer who has just broken up with his girlfriend?
    A: Homeless.

    Q: How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
    A: Twenty. One to hold the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.

    Q: What did the drummer get on his I.Q. test?
    A: Drool.

    If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum. Which drummer?

    There's a five pound note on the floor. Of a thrash guitarist, a drummer who keeps good time, and a drummer who keeps bad time, who picks it up?

    The drummer who keeps bad time. The other drummer doesn't exist, and the thrash guitarist doesn't care about notes anyway. What is your IQ?

    Bob is throwing a party. He decides that, to break the ice at his party, he'll ask his guests what their I.Q. is--hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there.

    The day of Bob's party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is.

    "200,000" replies the first guest.

    "Well, that's great," says Bob, let's talk about ethereal astro physics.

    Bob and this first guest talk about the aforementioned subject for a while.

    Later in the party, someone else is at the door. "Hi my name is Bob; welcome to my party, what's your I.Q.?"

    The new guest responds with "250".

    "Great," says Bob. "Lets talk about advanced math. Bob and his new guest talk about calculus and statistics for awhile.

    Much later in the party, after many more guests had arrived and been spoken to by Bob, yet another guest arrives at the door. "Hi, my name's Bob; welcome to my party, what's your I.Q.?"

    This time the guest replies after putting some thought into it "five".

    "Well, that's great," says Bob, "what kind of drumsticks do you use?"

    Looking to buy

    A man walks into a shop. "You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremolo?"

    "You're a drummer, aren't you?"

    "Yeah. How'd you know?"

    "This is a travel agency."[/FONT]
     
  3. Gladiator

    Gladiator New Member

    nothing to do with music but it made me laugh:

    A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of OAPs when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
    She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
    After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
    When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks her: "Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?"
    "We can't chew them because we've no teeth", she replied.

    "We just love the chocolate around them."
     
  4. dyl

    dyl Active Member

    Thanks for those, but I think one thread full of bad jokes is more than enough!

    Exisiting thread: here!

    This thread: locked!

    ;)
     
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