Aircraft Mechanics

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Jul 8, 2004.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor!

    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers.
    (P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
    (S = the solution and action taken by the engineers.)

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget
  2. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Yet another good 'un :wink:
  3. lynchie

    lynchie Active Member

    seem to remember these doing the rounds a few years back, but still makes me laugh! :lol:
  4. super_sop

    super_sop Supporting Member

    Ab Fab!!
  5. Liz Courts

    Liz Courts Active Member

    :lol: :lol: :lol: Lol! :lol: :lol: :lol:
  6. akwarose

    akwarose Active Member


    absolutely brilliant... especially the midget one and the engine one!!!
  7. Majoresteve

    Majoresteve Member

    what did you say you did for a living? :lol:
    another good thread!
  8. jimortality

    jimortality Member

    Excellent!!!! I hadn't seen those before :D
  9. bruceg

    bruceg Active Member

    What exactly are Qantas pilots doing with IFF and target radar on their planes!!! Very funny all the same :D