Admitting defeat?

Discussion in 'The Rehearsal Room' started by cornethorn_e_babe, Mar 14, 2006.

  1. When should one, as a brass player, admit defeat with an instrument and just frankly give up?
    I've been playing cornet for a short time, so I'm not great by any stretch of the imagination, but I thought I was of an OK standard for the amount of time I have been playing for.
    Sadly, a mis-directed text message last night told me otherwise, they person sending was telling someone else I was rubbish and couldn't play.....:frown:
    So, although I thought I was OK, I'm obviously not...which is actually quite embarrasing in me the even worse element of this was that the person concerned (who now says I'm rubbish) told lies about me not being able to play in the group I was in.
    I also play for another group socially who've been very good and have helped me with playing and have given me a tenor horn to play now, so part of me says, hey maybe I'm not that bad....:confused:
    I'm not sure how far one carries on really after this....should I grin a bear it whilst I musically upset others around or would it be worth carrying on and maybe pay for some lessons? if so where could I find a list of teachers?
  2. nickjones

    nickjones Active Member

    Don't give in , practice at your own pace , set yourself some goals and who knows ,but don't give up.
  3. ronnie_the_lizard

    ronnie_the_lizard Active Member

    Talk to some of the others you play with, or speak in confidence with the conductor. Let them know what's happened and try to get them to be honest - they may have moved you to horn because they need a good horn player, or maybe just because you can't be any worse there than you were on cornet ;)

    Paying for a lesson or two would be the best move though - a good teacher should be able to tell you if you are completely wasting your time, whether you should be on a different instrument to suit your embouchure, and whether there would be bands / ensembles in your area that might better suit your level of playing.

    At the end of the day the person sending the text could have all sorts of reasons for slagging you off. Don't let one bad comment get you down and don't just walk away from playing altogether - just use it as a way of re-evaluating your playing and moving further on.
  4. It was the condutctor (not of the group I play socially in- they say I'm OK!) who was sending the text! The conductor is someone who I have known for a number of years and never really got along with, so I kind of think maybe that's why...????

    I do really enjoy playing's just knocked me for 6 really....
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2006
  5. nickjones

    nickjones Active Member

    so much for encouraging playing..just prove them wrong , work hard and don't let it get you down.
  6. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    I would show the text message to the conductor or committee of the group that you now play in! There is no need for anybody to be so personal and direct if you play for the pleasure of doing so ... it's so rude and unnecessary!
  7. kfletch1

    kfletch1 New Member

    I think it's the enjoyment of playing you should play for, not other people. Besides my teacher once told me a quote (i can't remember who said this originally so if anyone knows please let me know!), anyway it was something like 'those who can be easily discouraged should be' ... i don't think this guy was the most tactful man haha :D but i think he was pretty much right, if a couple of harsh comments can make you quit you need to ask yourself do you enjoy playing that much? Anyway that's just something to think about, i quite like that quote and when someone's harsh to me i just work to prove 'em wrong! A couple of lessons would be good too i wreckon and once you've received some tuition to a higher standard you can decide whether you are a good cornet player or not! :) What do you think? And how long have you been playing?
  8. Jen

    Jen New Member

    Since you're enjoying playing (though I'm not sure I would with a conductor like that!) you shouldn't give up. But I spent about 18 months making nasty noises on a cornet and then my teacher gave me a euph to play and it got way better, so a different instrument might be a good thing, and lessons definitely would be. I hope you keep enjoying it!
  9. Been playing Since July/Aug 05 on Cornet and since Feb on Eb Horn & I feel more relaxed on my horn at the moment because it was my cornet playing which was criticised...
  10. Rapier

    Rapier Supporting Member

    If you have other bands in the area, then I'd ditch that one. Most bands would be pleased to have another enthusiastic back row cornet. And you WILL improve, it just takes time and practice. Oh, and now you've moved to a proper instrument you're bound to get better. ;)
  11. GingerMaestro

    GingerMaestro Active Member

    Do your band have a good active committee

    Do you still have the text message on the phone

    If they do then put in a complaint as the conductor of any band should not be sending messages like that and if he is doing it about you who else is he doing it to in my opinion he has lost any credability as a conductor If you have the message show this to the committee

    About you though whatever ability you have as a player is an acievement and you can build on that ability everyone is different we don't all progress at the same rate Stick with it and prove them wrong

    For lessons ask at your local school for the music services rep in your area who could put you on to a teacher to give you lessons

    Good Luck:clap:
  12. DaveR

    DaveR Active Member

    I'd definitely cut my losses and go to another band. If the conductor is that unprofessional (and stupid enough not to even send the text to the correct person!) then you're better off out of there. I'd definitely make sure that the committee knows why you are leaving though as that sort of behaviour doesn't ensure the lasting future of the band.
  13. a very flat b

    a very flat b Member

    We all differ in ability. We generally play as a hobby.
    At the next rehearsal ask the person to make their comments about you in front of the whole group, then question why they are frightened to speak directly to you.
    That should cause them a substantial amount of embarrassment.

    Don't give up playing!
  14. GingerMaestro

    GingerMaestro Active Member

    I agree to some extent but I'm not sure about bringing it up in the rehearsal it could back fire take the conductor to one side first if then he can't give you a straight answer then put it to him in front of everyone and see what happens

    But Don't give up Carry enjoying your playing.

    If you know that he goes on this sight maybe start another thread naming and shaming him
  15. Accidental

    Accidental Supporting Member

    Unfortunately bitching like that seems to happen in most bands at one point, but I agree its outrageous these comments have come from the conductor. Its not you who should be leaving! Chin up, and keep going - as long as you're enjoying band, stick with it, and only bother with advice/opinions from people you can trust to be a bit more objective. Good Luck!
  16. PeterBale

    PeterBale Moderator Staff Member

    Just a reminder that to do that would be in breach of tMP rules - best stick to general terms!
  17. kfletch1

    kfletch1 New Member

    So true!!! sometimes i feel like i'm stil at school when i'm at band! anyway just like at school bitching is often done by shallow, nasty people and should be ignored! :)
  18. GingerMaestro

    GingerMaestro Active Member

    I guess that is aimed at me so I will defend myself

    I think too many people in banding think they are above everyone else. this goes from the very top to the unknown. If who ever they are think they can get away with making comments like the conductor of this band in question then something needs to be said that is why we have a website like this to air our views. with out the hard work put in by the guys at TMP we would all be wollowing in our own self pity

    If the and if what was said the MOD's would soon put a stop to it but she should at least have a try to shame him so that hopefully if he does leave the band or is sacked then the next unfortunate band can see him for what he is:mad:
  19. brassneck

    brassneck Active Member

    - We have a rule on tMP that forbids naming individuals ...

    - Members are free to discuss and give opinions on issues that arise from situations caused by individuals, but naming and shaming can possibly be interpreted as libelous and therefore should be dealt with privately between involved parties!
  20. kfletch1

    kfletch1 New Member

    :eek: dude! as much as i pity the guy who the comment was made about, you can't judge people like that without knowing both sides of the story and i don't think your comments will help the situation at all!!! plus, there's know need to get angry, everyone is entitle to their opinion!!! :)

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