A post about posting

Discussion in 'The Rehearsal Room' started by John Morton, Jul 8, 2014.

  1. John Morton

    John Morton Member

    I belong to other forums, too and I notice that some people - no names no pack drill - regularly come across as being aggressive and arrogant. Not me, obviously! The culprits are generally male and, when we blokes lock antlers, we soon turn a discussion into a confrontation, which CAN see below become counter-productive. We're here to exchange ideas and to learn. It isn't about winners and losers. I'm 74 and learn something new every day.

    So I decided to do a post about posting. But, as so often happens, there's a problem here; the matter is not quite so clear-cut. Years ago I played in a big band in which one of the trumpeters hated the lead trombonist's guts. One evening during rehearsal the argument almost developed into a fist-fight. The amazing thing is how well the band played afterwards, with testosterone levels raging. After all, it requires a certain natural aggression to play a brass instrument. (So why are there so many good female players? Bang goes another theory.) Added to this, I've always believed that people only really speak their minds when they're angry and no longer wrap their comments in platitudes.

    Another obvious difficulty lies in the fact that exchanging messages online at the keyboard isn't the surest way of assessing another's intentions.

    So where do I stand on all this (just in case someone out there cares)? I must admit I often see two points of view so well that I struggle to make a decision. But life revolves around actions, more than words. I suppose the answer to all this is to concentrate on what we artists are all about: the search for truth, whatever that is (you see, I'm off again). We also need to express ourselves with care, always reading through what we write to assess its effect on the reader.

    I think this deserves a little applause :clap:
  2. mikelyons

    mikelyons Supporting Member

    I used to have the motto "It's a poor day if you don't learn something new - even if it is something you don't like." One of the problems with the internet is the ability of someone what wants to cause trouble to remain anonymous or to hide behind the keyboard. Most people don't get upset enough to want to travel 300 miles to thump someone with whom they've had an online argument. This means that these differences of opinion can sometimes fester and get out of control.

    It is very sad that there are some people who seem to take great personal pleasure in upsetting others and deliberately adopt an aggressive and provocative style in their posts. Thankfully, if they don't get a rise, they eventually go elsewhere.
  3. John Morton

    John Morton Member

    Thanks for that. It is indeed easier (and safer) to insult someone 'over the phone'. I had a lot of experience with negotiation, including trade union affairs, and the man from ACAS used to say 'When daggers are drawn blood usually follows'.
  4. You are right Mike but sometimes when I see thinly veiled insults directed at people I like and respect I find it difficult not to respond.
  5. Alyn James

    Alyn James Member

    What a load of c**p!!! CAN'T YOU FIND ANYTHING BETTER TO DO?

    (aggressive enough?) :)
  6. :tup That about covers it.
  7. John Morton

    John Morton Member

    That'll do nicely.
  8. jezza23361

    jezza23361 Member

    I used to look at this site regularly and post sometimes. This is the first time I have looked in months and my lack of interest is purely and simply due to all of the anonymous trolls on here.

  9. halsasaurus

    halsasaurus Member

    Before email and the like came the good old telephone. A friend of mine used to refer to those that hid behind the Mouthpiece as "Telephone Tough Guys"
    What about a similar name for all the anonymous e-mailers that would probably melt if they had to speak face to face rather than hiding behind a computer user name
  10. 2nd tenor

    2nd tenor Well-Known Member

    "Telephone Tough Guys" is a term new to me but I have come across people who match the description. I remenber one such type leaving a rant on my work answerphone, his job went to the bottom of the pile and then I dealt with it normally rather than the priority he wanted; those that spoke to me in person that way got similar treatment - never could stand a bully.

    Being an anonymous e-mailer here has both pluses and minuses; I like the freedom to express myself without being concerned about upsetting some large hot-head or appear too foolish when asking for information or expressing some ill founded oppinion but, on the other hand, it does give others the chance to post without responsibility or care for the rest of us.
  11. John Morton

    John Morton Member

    My purpose I causing all this 'trouble' was to ask people to think anew about the way we all approach these discussions. Nothing wrong with avin a laff - I rarely take anything seriously - but some exchanges are not worth the electricity. The very nature of these forums leads to attracting opinionated people who cherish their views so much that, if you attack the opinion, you're perceived to be attacking the person, too.
  12. Vegasbound

    Vegasbound Active Member

  13. Alyn James

    Alyn James Member

    Using one's own name is a great self-policing tool. Whenever I'm tempted to misbehave I'm forced to consider whether I'll come across as a total (rather than partial) k**b.
  14. Bbmad

    Bbmad Active Member

    Pompous and sanctimonious
  15. John Morton

    John Morton Member

    the rule is simple: never say anything long-distance you wouldn't say to a person's face.
  16. John Morton

    John Morton Member

    Thanx for that! On the day I mentioned we had an even worse problem. The trumpet player thought HE should be on lead.
  17. 2nd tenor

    2nd tenor Well-Known Member

    That's pretty much the guide I use. However when you say something to someone's face, rather than in text, you have a better idea of how things will be taken and can control the way in which the message is delivered. Those two variables can alter the end result a lot as the way something is written is not necessarily the way that it is read. It's best if you never write in anger too and then there are times when, whether angry or not, you might want to say something to someones face that is just best left unsaid - I'm no diplomat, just trying to improve from a low base.
  18. Alyn James

    Alyn James Member

  19. John Morton

    John Morton Member

    Well, my aim has probably been achieved. At least it's brought some of the offenders out of the woodwork.
  20. 2nd tenor

    2nd tenor Well-Known Member

    Oh dear, having taken the time and trouble to constructively contribute to this thread my name might now be besmirched by association :frown:.

    There are times when some things are best left unsaid. However, on a more positive note, you have ‘lumped me in’ with the likes of Mike Lyons who is generally well respected and Alyn James and Vegas Bound who are cracking players :) – no offence intended to the others I have missed out. With but one possible exception, from a clever chap who chooses to post some stuff I find strange but who might have been ‘spot-on’ on this occasion, posts on this thread have (IMHO) been quite reasonable and/or witty.
    Last edited: Jul 16, 2014

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