"If we'd had Phil Taylor at Hastings against the Normans, they'd have gone home." "He may practice 12 hours a day, but he's not shy of the burger van!" "He's like Jack The Ripper on a Friday night." “Rod now looking like Kevin Costner when told the final cost of Waterworld." "It's just like taking a sausage from a boy in a wheelchair." "That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!" "As they say at the DHSS, we're getting the full benefit here." "This lad has more checkouts than Tescos." "He's as twitchy as a frog in a blender" "He's as cool as a prized marrow!" Absolute class!