A Dog's rules for christmas

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by Bryan_sop, Nov 12, 2006.

  1. Bryan_sop

    Bryan_sop Active Member

    1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.

    2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume that all the gifts are yours.

    3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.

    4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you, it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need to know:

    a. Don't pee on the tree

    b. Don't drink water in the container that holds the tree

    c. Mind your tail when you are near the tree

    d. If there are packages under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on them, don't rip them open

    e. Don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking hole in the wall to the tree

    5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call for some discretion on your part:

    a. Not all strangers appreciate kisses and leans

    b. Don't eat off the buffet table

    c. Beg for goodies subtly

    d. Be pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa

    e. Don't drink out of glasses that are left within your reach

    6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also be important:

    a. Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other people's houses. (4a is particularly important)

    b. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the house

    c. Tolerate children

    d. Turn on your charm big time

    7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your fireplace in the middle of the night. DO NOT BITE HIM!!
  2. Richard Orme

    Richard Orme Member

    Remember Dogs are not just for Christmas.
    There should be plenty left for boxing day sandwiches too.
  3. flower girl

    flower girl Member

    CLASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:clap: :clap: :clap:
  4. meandmycornet

    meandmycornet Active Member

    Awwwwwwwww that is so so so so so cute! My doggy is actually a very good boy at christmas.... he's never peed on the tree or knocked it over or ripped open presents or anything!
  5. Liz Loftus

    Liz Loftus Member

    the poor thing has been subjected to wearing antlers and father xmas hats though:biggrin:
  6. Kiz7

    Kiz7 Member

    my Dog needs to read these rules. EVERY christmas she eats a box of chocolates from under the tree - but only if they are cadbury's Heroes!
  7. on_castors

    on_castors Member

    Be careful... I know they are only Cadbury's and as a result contain relatively little real chocolate when compared to proper stuff, but seriously - chocolate REALLY is poisonous for dogs, it isn't a myth. Maybe as little as 8oz. could be dangerous even to a large dog!

    Fortunately my two dogs don't seem keen of it in the first place, although the stuff never hangs around until Xmas in this household!
  8. Kiz7

    Kiz7 Member

    Believe me, I don't feed them to her - she steals them! Then she sits there looking pathetic when she gets caught!
  9. Bass Man

    Bass Man Active Member

    Ruff justice, ha ha ha
  10. Accidental

    Accidental Supporting Member

    So true.... I wish my mutts could read!!