21 More Questions to Ponder

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Chat' started by MRSH, Jan 11, 2009.

  1. MRSH

    MRSH Supporting Member

    1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

    2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

    3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

    4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

    5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    6. Why is it that the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

    7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

    8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

    9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy … opposites?

    10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

    11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

    12. "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

    13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

    14. What hair colour do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

    15. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?

    16. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

    17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

    18. No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

    19. Ever wonder about those people who spend £1.50 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE

    20. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

    21. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea does that mean that one enjoys it?
     
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  3. 2nd man down

    2nd man down Moderator Staff Member

    Ha ha ha...very good. :clap:
     
  4. Leyfy

    Leyfy Active Member

    Or... No one ever says "Its only a contest" when they've won ;)
     
  5. Ipswich trom

    Ipswich trom Member

    I love no. Onety One lol.
     
  6. jockinafrock

    jockinafrock Active Member

    Made my day - what a hoot...! :clap: :D
     
  7. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    Excellent, thanks! I can now ponder these 21 before pondering (and writing an essay about) how much of a threat Mary, Queen of Scots posed to England and Elizabeth I....
     
  8. bbg

    bbg Member

    Good list - very Jimmy Carr-ish one liners!

    Flutey - easy essay - "not much, since they kept her locked up for years before disposing of her".............and was there another Elizabeth? The one you refer to was the only Queen of England with that name that I'm aware of, the present incumbent of Buck House being the first Elizabeth of the United Kingdom.
     
  9. Flutey

    Flutey Active Member

    Don't even get me started on that argument! And Cunard cruise ships- they had the Queen Elizabeth, then the QE2 and now they've got rid of her, they're introducing the Queen Elizabeth again, but it's a different ship... however, it implies 3 monarchs of the same name- madness! *random rant over*
     
  10. HaleStorm

    HaleStorm Member

    How come they sterilise the needles to administer leathel injections?
     

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